When You Dont Know How You Feel

"He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg." ~Chinese Saying

Here's the thing: I don't know what to do.

About this matter, nearly that thing. About big things and small things.

Almost anything.

Actually, to be honest, even the smallest thing seems big when I don't know what to practise almost it. The state of "not knowing what to do" is like some kind of Miracle Grow for small things in my mind.

This is not a new thing. Not knowing what to do is a particular and well-honed talent of mine. I tin even juggle several not knowing what-to-dos at in one case.

For example, at the moment I don't know whether to go away with my friends this weekend or not. And if I do will I have the railroad train? Or get a lift?

I don't know whether to take that new job. And if I practise, when should I beginning information technology? What about all those other job offers that will flood through the door the infinitesimal I say yes to this i?

I don't know whether to commencement the diet tomorrow. Or today. Or next week. Or not at all. I don't know whether to call my counselor or ride this one out solitary.

I don't know what is all-time, what is right. I don't know what I desire to exercise.

Practise you know what else I don't know? I don't know what to exercise about not knowing what to exercise.

And whenever I feel similar this (which is not always, but oft), I commencement non knowing what to exercise about things I did know what to do well-nigh before. Things I had already made decisions on, things I felt excited and sure virtually before, now feel wobbly and incorrect. Fifty-fifty though I know the decisions felt correct when I fabricated them.

My encephalon starts questioning it all: What if I didn't really know what to practice then either, and just decided on something that wasn't really the right matter to do after all? What if it turns out to be "incorrect"? What if I acted on impulse and didn't think it all through properly?

It'southward like I'm mourning all the other possible options that volition never, e'er happen at present because I didn't choose them.

The fiddling voice in my head chides me: If you cull option a, and so such and such might happen, which could atomic number 82 to x and so that may mean y. Had I known in the beginning nearly y, maybe I wouldn't have chosen that original thing. Or would I? How do I know?

And this uncertainty, the worry, the anxiety, the not knowing, it isn't picky. Information technology doesn't just stick to the thing I'thou not sure about. It leaks. It seeps into everything else, so instead of feeling uncertain or anxious about one matter in particular, nearly one conclusion specifically, I experience anxious, uncertain, and worried full end. I forget what started it. I only feel information technology.

I feel information technology in my chest, most my center. In my throat. It feels like guilt, muddled with regret, with overtones of panic and an undercurrent of fear. It feels hard and cold, like a vice-like grip.

And I don't like it. But I simply don't know what to do near it. So I do nix. Except worry and be broken-hearted that doing nothing is not the correct matter to practice. It'due south exhausting, information technology'south frustrating, and it'due south totally and utterly unproductive.

And the only thing that makes information technology finish? Is to just decide and practice something. To just practice annihilation.

And the only manner to know what to exercise? Well actually, at that place is no answer to that one.

Other than to not worry well-nigh worrying. To not feel broken-hearted near feeling anxious. To accept that there is no right answer.

To breathe. To try to feel across the worry, to try to feel the answer rather than (over) think it.

To stop trying to second-guess every possible outcome of every possible determination. To terminate trying to control and account for every accountability. Information technology just isn't possible.

To trust.

I can't know what will happen. I can't know how I will experience about any of information technology. I tin can't know whether the determination I make is any meliorate or worse than any other determination I could accept made because I am only ever going to experience the i path I do choose.

So I tin only react with what I take, what I know, and how I feel, right here and right now. And I don't need to know how to practise that; I just need to do information technology. I but demand to allow it to happen.

Back to my decisions. Well, I even so don't know what to practice. I however don't know what the "right" affair is.

But maybe that'south non and so much of a trouble later on all.

Because I practice know what the wrong thing is. And that's to brand no conclusion at all. Even if the conclusion I make is non to decide only yet—that is still a decision. Own it.

A friend once said to me, "Whenever the time is right, it volition be the correct time." Information technology helps me relax well-nigh my decisions.

I ofttimes wonder: Am I the only i like this? I don't know that either, but if you're with me:

Stop thinking it through. Stop making upward what might happen. Considering that's what's happening here, you're but making it up. Just make the decision instead and enjoy the ride. Whatever it turns out to be, it doesn't really matter—you can change it afterwards if you actually take to.

Whatever the decision is, just make it. What'south the worst that tin can happen, really?

Just brand the decision and then be glad yous did. Savour the freedom and the relief that follows.

Savor the present, indecision free. Because while you're busy worrying about what might happen tomorrow, estimate what? You lot're missing out on all the slap-up stuff happening today.

So just decide. Just relax.

Desire to know the good news? The decision matter is but every bit leaky as the indecision thing.

Once I become going once more, I know there'll be no stopping me. I'll breeze through decisions that floored me before. I'll put those small things back in their identify. And if it feels incorrect, I'll change it. I won't worry well-nigh it. Things that felt a bit wrong and weird earlier but won't matter anymore.

I won't know where this whole confident, decision making affair came from. I'll merely feel information technology.

I'll feel it in my chest, well-nigh my eye. It volition feel like contentment, embracing joy, tickled with peace and flavored with lightness. It will feel soft and warm, like molten dear trickling through my veins. It volition brand me smiling.

And I will love it. And I volition practise all I can to hold on to it.

That I practise know.

So allow's simply get started. Let'due south but relax. Let's just decide. And let's never look back.

Photograph past J. Tegnerud

Nearly Emma While

Emma is passionate most positive psychology, avidly learning and applying its lessons to her life and work. Her own personal journey through stress, growth and discovery inform both her ChattingHappy web log  and The Happy Goad facebook folio with the promise of spreading happiness to others, i spark at a fourth dimension.

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Source: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/what-to-do-when-you-dont-know-what-to-do/

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